Of South dilli aunties and south dilli aunties

You know all those little epiphanies which occur to you in life, from the one sitting in an engineering classroom and realizing that the professor knows as much about the subject as your Mom would know about the Pentium 3 to the one where you go in a supermarket store and look forward to catch up with few confectioneries from your childhood memories and realize that this. is. no. ordinary store.

And in that moment, you feel like that guy from that movie Jumanji, who appeared from nowhere after being trapped in the game for (I don’t recall how many) years and realize, shit! this is Le Marche – there are (only) hot moms and their hot daughters, walking around in hot pants – you can’t expect to make a small talk with them, asking if they know where the store keeps Chatmola!

[Rhetorically] As I swallowed the big lump of change, my thoughts swept across the Jat boayzz in their Ed Hardy’s – the South Delhi aunties doing aerobics on ‘Sadi Galli‘ – the Kitty party moms with IQ levels dipping to sub zero Serbian thresholds – and the gurlfriends who chide their boyfriends for not bringing enough extra ‘Catchups‘ to bathe their burgers with and I thought to myself, “Woah – this is new!”

Out of the last 6 years, I spent 4 studying engineering in a place so primitive that they had classes on how to make fire and the next 2 living in a place so spartan that the mascot for the most eligible bachelor was a quintessential male with deep fried mustache, assorted chest hairs and a lungi lurching perilously low in a Kingfisher calender girl fashion.

I reckoned that things have changed in a “Hamare zamaney mein ye hota tha” style for me. Now when a random kid stops by, and asks “Uncle! Ye rasta Preet Vihar ko jataa hai?“, I should probably keep my cool – just completely ignore the word Uncle – understand that I have gone generations ahead and not send him running off on a one way stretch to the Welcome Metro station.

On a different note, remember my mention about the Kitty party moms association? Well this is what I overheard – “Arrey Rajinder – hum social revolution kar denge Facebook pe uss fruad SnapDeal ke khilaaf – the power of social media, you don’t know. Ek group start kartey hain and posts and likes kar denge. Chal phone chod and you come over to lunch naa. I have to hang you abhi – lunch menu start hone wala hai”

Now if their kids won’t wear Ed Hardy’s and their Mom in Laws won’t sweat out on Punjabi pops and their daughters won’t shop for the pringles at Le Marche, then who will!